How To Survive The Holidays From A Licensed Therapist
Surviving the holidays, a guide from a licensed Arizona therapist
As the holidays start creeping in, you might already feel a mix of excitement and that little pit of anxiety in your stomach. For many of us, the season isn’t just about turkey, lights, and cozy vibes — it’s also about navigating complex family dynamics, maybe even setting some boundaries, and figuring out how to honor our own needs and feelings when everything around us screams “be merry!”
If you’re feeling this, you’re definitely not alone.
Here at Turning Point Counseling in Arizona, we get it. Holiday stress can bring up unresolved feelings, grief, or worry, and there’s a lot of pressure to make things perfect.
Let’s break down some tips on setting realistic expectations, protecting your peace, and embracing a holiday that feels more you.
Why Holiday Anxiety Happens (Even if We Love the Holidays)
The holidays can trigger all kinds of emotions, especially when it comes to family dynamics. Maybe there’s unresolved tension, or certain conversations and behaviors that make you feel small, misunderstood, or even judged.
Or maybe this season brings up feelings of grief and loss. For loved ones who have passed or for a life you wish you were living. And then there’s the added pressure to make everything perfect — sound familiar?
This mix can be exhausting, and that’s okay. Acknowledging the feelings you’re bringing into the season is actually the first step toward creating a holiday you can actually enjoy.
What Boundaries Really Mean and Why They Matter
When we hear “boundaries,” it can sound a little harsh or like we’re trying to shut people out. But that’s not it at all! Boundaries are all about creating space for your own comfort and well-being — something that’s extra important during the holidays. It’s about allowing yourself to show up authentically, without feeling like you have to compromise your own needs to keep the peace.
Healthy boundaries can actually help deepen relationships, because they’re about clear, honest communication.
Let’s look at a few practical ways to set them with family in a way that feels comfortable.
How to Set Gentle Boundaries with Family During the Holidays
Identify Your Non-Negotiables
Before the holiday arrives, take a moment to think about what’s most important for your peace of mind. Maybe it’s having a little time alone each day, skipping certain topics, or setting a time limit on visits. When you’re clear on what you need, it’s easier to stay grounded if someone pushes back.
Set Clear but Kind Expectations
Boundaries don’t have to be harsh. You might say something like, “I’m really looking forward to being here, and I’d love it if we could skip any political discussions this year.” Or if you need a break during the day, let them know you’ll be stepping out for some fresh air or a quiet moment when things get overwhelming.
Practice Saying “No” with Grace
Let’s face it: saying “no” can feel awkward, especially with family. Try phrases like, “I wish I could, but I’m going to have to pass this time,” or, “Thank you for understanding — I’m needing a little downtime.” Remember, it’s okay to protect your energy!
Bring a Support Plan
Whether it’s a friend on standby or some pre-planned grounding techniques (like deep breathing or stepping outside), having a go-to strategy can be your lifeline if things get tense. And a quick check-in with yourself or a loved one can be the perfect way to reset if you start feeling overwhelmed.
Managing grief and lonliness during the holidays
Managing Grief and Self-Loss During the Holidays
If you’re experiencing grief, self-loss, or just not feeling quite like yourself this holiday season, know that these feelings are valid. The season is all about connection, so if you’re feeling disconnected or missing someone, it’s natural to feel a bit out of sorts. A few things to try:
Honor Your Feelings: If grief or loneliness is heavy, give yourself permission to feel it, even if it’s just for a few moments. Sometimes, letting the feelings pass through can make them feel a bit lighter.
Create New Traditions: Consider honoring your own journey by creating something new, like a small ritual that helps you feel connected to loved ones who’ve passed or a self-care activity that brings you peace.
Ask for Support: Holidays can be tough, and that’s why we’re here. Reaching out for help can make a huge difference, whether it’s a call with a friend or scheduling time with a therapist who gets it.
Turning Point Counseling, Phoenix, Arizona therapy
Therapy Can Be Your Turning Point This Holiday Season
If the holidays feel like a heavy lift this year, it could be the perfect time to talk to a therapist. Here at Turning Point Counseling, we’re all about helping you move from just “getting through” to feeling more at ease and empowered in your relationships and your own space. Whether it’s learning tools for boundaries, working through grief, or even embracing self-kindness when the holiday stressors start building up, we’re here to support you.
Starting therapy is a big step, and we’re ready to walk with you through it.
Book a consultation call with us, and let’s explore how we can make this holiday season one of comfort, healing, and true connection — with others and with yourself.
Happy Holidays (with a little less stress!) from Turning Point Counseling!
